Harassment is harassment or the intimate side of an unpleasant life

Harassment has been known for a long time. Examples can be found in films and life stories. But until some time the problem was hushed up, sometimes ridiculed, purposefully mixed with flirting and coquetry. The situation changed after the scandalous case of Harvey Weinstein, who was accused of sexual harassment by several actresses.

Photo by Nataliya Vaitkevich: Pexels

Since then, harassment has become a popular psychological term and is actively used in the media to attract readers with hot stories.

As often happens, “hot” is associated with deep personal, emotional experiences, and for some it becomes a point of no return, followed by violence and suicide.

To understand the severity of the problem and be able to avoid it, you need to understand what harassment means, how to recognize it, and how to behave in such situations.

In this article:

What is harassmentHarassment - violence - flirtingWhere you can encounter harassmentSituation of harassmentHow to deal with harassment

What does the word harassment mean?

The concept of “harassment” came to us from the jurisprudence of the United States, where it has been used for a long time, but in Russia the word became popular only in the mid-2010s. It means a crime that violates the integrity of a person.

Harassment is, in French, mockery or oppression. Most often associated with the intimate side, forced intimacy without consent, moral influence that turns into physical. It is common in those places where the victim is lower in position (age, physical fitness, position, etc.) than the one who commits this action against her.

Harassment situation

There are several types of harassment that are simply embarrassing to talk about in our country. When mentioning situations that happened, without exaggeration, to 99% of women, society tends to blame the victim. Even if attempts were made on her part to defend herself and ask for help, in most cases, the criminal remains unpunished (and is not considered a criminal at all).

Harassment can be expressed not only in behavior or words, but also in psychological pressure. The aggressor can non-verbally put pressure, blackmail the victim, and put him in a state of stress and anxiety. There is targeted harassment based on sexism.

Psychological pressure on a woman

The problem affects not only women, but also men (albeit in a smaller percentage). The results of persecution: decreased self-esteem, increased nervous excitability, depression, and panic attacks. If the aggressor still manages to extract unwanted intimacy from the victim, this may be the beginning of complete personality destruction and suicidal tendencies.

Harassment what is it

Imagine, out of 10 women, 7 have experienced harassment at least once. The majority experienced persecution and harassment at work, some in universities. The saddest facts are during childhood, when girls experience sexualized behavior from older adults or even relatives. Most are simply embarrassed to admit that they have had such an experience in their lives. The main reason for secrecy: women are made to blame for what happened. What girls usually hear if they try to complain to someone or find protection:

• “Is the boss pestering you? Well, you’re cute, why not!”
• “Uncle Vasya once hugged you for a long time? Yes, nothing strange, you probably imagined it.”
• “The teacher hinted at “payment” for a good grade? He's just joking, don't pay attention."

Gender inequality between the sexes

And there are millions of such cases, they happen every day. Gender inequality, which has been practiced for centuries, still affects the way women are treated. Girls are initially perceived as an object to evaluate their appearance, and only then are they taken into account their business qualities, status or behavior. Even if she is higher in position, this does not always save her from harassment. They can discuss her, make nasty jokes about her, and belittle her. In severe cases, such claims can turn into manic persecution.

Why catcalling is dangerous and how to respond to it

Catcalling can lead to physical violence. Women cannot know how men who whistle after them or offer to meet them will react to refusal or even ignoring their words. Any behavior by a woman can be met with aggression and serious threats or even cause murder.

It is impossible to say exactly what the correct reaction to catcalling will be. It all depends on the situation: where the harassment is happening, whether there are people around. A victim of street harassment can hardly understand a man’s intentions and the degree of his adequacy: for example, whether he is under the influence of alcohol or drugs.

Debjani Roy, associate director of the international anti-street harassment movement Hollaback!, and Holly Curl, founder of Stop Street Harassment, talk about several possible tactics that can help women in catcalling situations. The most important thing is to evaluate your safety. In most cases, the best option is to ignore the words or actions of the offender and leave before the situation begins to develop.

If ignoring does not help, experts also recommend several other behavioral tactics. It is important to understand that they are not universal: in different situations, the same action can protect or further provoke the aggressor.

The tactics are as follows. You can simulate a telephone conversation and loudly warn a friend or relative that you are approaching the meeting point. The risk of another person appearing may deter the abuser. If the pursuer does not lag behind, then you can make a real call to the police. It is worth realizing that waiting for a response from the police officer himself can take time and help will not arrive quickly. In all cases, it is important to prioritize your safety.

If catcalling is limited to words, it may seem easy to forget about it. However, comments on appearance can cause significant anxiety and anxiety. Women who experience catcalling may feel nervous when choosing clothes or nervous when crossing paths with a man on the street. According to the already mentioned Cornell study, 72% of women respondents experienced anger due to the intrusive actions of men on the streets, and 75% experienced anxiety when they were pursued. Such emotions in the long term lead to the development of depression and decreased self-esteem.

Shouting from strangers is not flattering, but makes you feel like an object, a thing, and creates a feeling of insecurity that affects a woman’s comfort and productivity. For example, the deputy director of the international anti-street harassment movement Hollaback! Debjani Roy points out that a girl who is harassed on her way to the office may be less productive at work because she will replay the incident in her head over and over again.

In 2022, the UK's Women's Rights and Equal Opportunities Committee produced a report on the long-term effects of street harassment. Girls often encounter this for the first time in adolescence, and therefore, when they grow up, they think about the reactions of others, try to meet certain standards, and perceive their body and appearance as an object for public discussion.

Catcalling is also dangerous because it is an everyday type of harassment that is rarely paid attention to or attempted to devalue. By calling street harassment a compliment, people reinforce sexist standards in society.

No matter how the victim looks, no matter what she says, she is not to blame for the current situation. Experts advise telling friends about what's happening to vent, get support, and perhaps learn about similar experiences.

Harassment at work

The most popular place where you encounter harassment is at work. This is where we spend the most time and are in constant interaction with colleagues and clients. Thanks to the mentality, harassment at work is not considered savage in our country. It's normal to discuss the length of a coworker's legs or the depth of her cleavage. Moreover, not only men, but also women can gossip and comment.

These are not random compliments of politeness.

Random compliments or polite, albeit diminutive, affectionate addresses addressed to oneself cannot be considered harassment. However, often girls are faced with a direct violation of personal boundaries. For example, with hugs without consent, “accidental” touching, patting around the waist or other parts of the body. According to the stories of victims, the aggressor can show his desires in corridors and other places where there are few people, pressing against him or touching him with different parts of the body. Often you have to deal with hints, obscene jokes, comments about appearance and behavior.

Research has revealed a number of professions where women are most often subject to harassment:

• secretaries;
• personal assistants;
• nurses;
• flight attendants;
• administrative staff in establishments with a night work schedule;
• conductors.

The remaining colleagues take the role of observers. Some take what is happening for granted, others support the aggressor and do the same. Still others are afraid of such an attitude towards themselves and try not to stand out. The woman has to resign herself (equivalently to developing neurosis) or leave for another job in order to stop the harassment, since the police will also not take her statement seriously.

Where can you encounter harassment?

There is a strong stereotype in society that people most often encounter harassment at work. There are suitable conditions for this: employees spend a lot of time in the office and flirt. Bosses and colleagues have tools of pressure in their hands - salary, business trips abroad, promotion through the ranks.

But insults and harassment are often complained about, and if they occur in other places:

• Public transport.

In a crowd, it is difficult to notice someone who opens his hands and touches intimate parts of the body.

• Entrances of houses.

There are frequent cases when young people, hiding in the entrance, defiantly look at intimate magazines and offer to read them together.

• Parks, walking alleys, beaches.

Here you can often hear whistles and comments addressed to you.

• Educational establishments.

Conflict situations arise between students and teachers.

• Fitness rooms, swimming pools.

An atmosphere of some freedom and appearance can serve as a factor provoking harassment.

• Stadiums.

This is a place where verbal abuse, whistling, and ridicule of people of other nationalities are commonplace.

Harassment on the street

Manifestations of persistent attention with hints of intimate continuation can be found not only in the workplace, but also in any other. On the street, girls encounter boorish shouts, gestures, and sometimes physical violence. Compliments and attempts to get acquainted have nothing to do with harassment if the man leaves after refusal. We are talking about those who persistently offer their company, loudly comment on their body features, and pursue.

Boorish gestures on the street

Harassment is actions that can pose a real danger on the street if there are no people around. The persons who commit them are not considered socially safe. Such a meeting could end in rape, physical harm, or robbery. If in the office such people are held back by the company of acquaintances, colleagues, career and social norms, nothing stops them on the street.

Street harassment always happens unexpectedly, unsettles you, and plunges you into a state of stress. In such a situation, it is always difficult for the victim to resist, given the almost 100% probability of receiving accusations against him (“I walked in the wrong place,” “I put on a skirt and heels,” “I looked the wrong way”). The consequences can be the most tragic, including personality changes.

Sexual harassment

In Russia, sexual harassment is considered speculation, it is classified as ordinary flirting, entertainment and is not considered a dangerous type of relationship between people. But there are several important differences that will help distinguish one from the other.

Table on how to distinguish flirting from sexual harassment.
The main difference: with sexual harassment there is no mutual interest, persistence manifests itself only from the aggressor. Attempts to stop the persecution are unsuccessful; attempts are made to blackmail, manipulate, and threaten (for example, dismissal, publication, etc.).

The girl wants to hide the harassment

A special category is sexual harassment in public places. Occurs in transport, where close proximity to the victim is possible. 50% of women in London, 75% in Latin America and about the same number in Russia have experienced harassment in transport. Of these, 90% did nothing, being in a state of shock. Women do not report what happened for fear of becoming an object of condemnation, misunderstanding and ridicule. In Japan, to combat sexual harassment in public transport, a separate women's carriage was created (Osaka). On regular trains there are emergency buttons, after pressing which help comes and the criminal is detained. Europeans are only just thinking about introducing such a system.

What is called catcalling?

At different times, street harassment has been described in different terms. For example, back in the early 1900s. the American press wrote about the so-called “maschers” (from the French address to a woman “my dear”). Mashers were intrusive men who pestered strange women with conversations or deliberately leaned against them in stagecoaches. Back then, American women even used hat needles for protection. In the middle of the last century, another term came into circulation - wolf-whistling (wolf whistle). It gained a foothold in popular culture thanks to the work of American animator Tex Avery, “Hot Little Red Riding Hood.” In it, the Wolf whistled to Little Red Riding Hood, thereby expressing sexual desire. Images from the cartoon were replicated in the American and British press.

At the 2:49 mark you can hear the wolf whistling in Tex Avery's Little Red Riding Hood.

Catcalling is a synonym for “wolf whistling”: it is harassment in public places. They can be expressed in verbal and non-verbal form. These are shouts, rude addresses or whistles on the street, in transport, a cafe, bar, store, the use of a car horn, statements about the appearance of an unfamiliar woman, emphasis on certain parts of her body, persistent attempts to get to know each other, and sometimes direct address using “kiss” sounds. -kis."

Harassment may also include aggressive swearing and obscene gestures (such as sexual movements), followed by stalking, blocking the road, pinching, or grabbing the arm or other parts of the body.

International movement against street harassment Hollaback! and Cornell University conducted a large-scale study in 2014. Among 16,607 respondents from 42 cities around the world, the majority responded that they experienced harassment in public places for the first time during adolescence, from 11 to 17 years old. More than 50% of respondents said that in addition to verbal harassment, they were tried to touch and pinch. Girls from Russia were not surveyed in this study, and the country does not have its own statistics on street harassment.

Olga, 25 years old, Moscow

One day I walked into an almost empty subway car and three guys started talking to me. They were adults and quite strong, they looked to be about 30 years old. I was in a bad mood, and phrases from the series came to me: “Why are you so beautiful and sad?”, “Hey, baby, let us cheer you up!”, “Why are you Aren’t you smiling at us?”

I said: “Guys, get away from me, I don’t want to communicate with you.” Then one of the guys sat down next to me and grabbed me by the elbow. He began to aggressively reprimand that I shouldn’t talk to them like that, because they were polite to me. I asked him to remove his hand and pulled it, but the guy didn’t let up. I was really scared. When the train pulled up to the station, I pulled my hand hard and was able to jump out of the car. I ran up the escalator in fear that the guys would run after me. But fortunately, this did not happen.

Harassment in the USA and Russia - what is the difference?

Statistics in the US show that 21% of respondents have experienced harassment in the workplace. The problem is openly recognized and measures are taken to prevent such cases. When a precedent appears, questions are asked first of all to the aggressor; the victim can always count on protection. All possible psychological consequences that threaten victims of harassment are taken into account.

In Russia it is not customary to talk about harassment

In Russia, only 9% of harassment in the workplace was recorded according to surveys conducted by VTsIOM. Experts leave this data highly questionable. Russians are accustomed to this kind of treatment, especially the older generation. In reality, almost every woman has felt harassment at work, but prefers to remain silent to avoid negative consequences. In fact, no one in Russia bears responsibility for the state of health and mental health of the victims. According to research, there are 125 times more actual cases of sexual crimes in the country than documented ones. Nobody just talks about them.

In recent years, a positive trend has emerged among Russians. The majority of respondents who openly report what happened to them are young people under 25 years of age. They are not afraid to express their rights and most often become targets for aggressors due to their age.

It's time to increase your awareness of this difficult matter.

Still from the film "Wonder Woman"

Surely you have heard the news more than once that the next Harvey Weinstein was accused of harassment, and this led to the collapse of his career, legal proceedings and other unpleasant things.

However, it is quite possible that every time you hear the word “harassment”, you do not have a clear idea of ​​what exactly it is and how to avoid becoming the dude who harasses everyone.

Don't worry, we'll figure it out now.

What to do to protect yourself from harassment

There are several behavior strategies that will help you cope with the situation:

1. Don't wear provocative clothes at work. This can provoke a person prone to harassment and violation of personal boundaries. Especially if similar relationships were previously accepted in the team.
2. Do not flirt in response to harassment or laugh it off. This will be perceived as tacit consent. You need to express your dissatisfaction immediately and directly. It is important to choose words so as not to offend the aggressor and not force him to take revenge. You need to interrupt his actions carefully, politely and firmly.
3. In a public place, attract the attention of others. When physically attacked, scream or speak loudly to the aggressor so that those nearby can help. Loud indignation helps a lot in transport; criminals often do not expect a response, get scared and move away.
4. Develop in advance several scenarios according to which you can act in different situations. Come up with a strict refusal for a colleague, describe your actions in case of being stalked by a stranger on the street, etc. Memory and automaticity will help in stress.
5. The injured party does not need to be afraid of accusations against him; psychological and physical health is more important than the speculation of others.
6. Report sexual harassment to the police. Even if the authorities do not take any action, there will be a statement. There is a chance to avoid a repeat of the incident.
7. If nothing stops the aggressor, his actions make it difficult to perform work tasks, the behavior looks like manic pursuit, you should think about changing jobs in order to preserve your identity.

It is recommended not to attract the attention of suspicious people on the street and in transport by looking. Even in high spirits, try to look into space and not provoke strangers into dialogue.

Harassment – ​​violence – flirting

Sometimes, due to a lack of understanding of what harassment is, it is confused with violence. In the first case, it is harassment, attacks, criticism, psychological pressure. It happens that these actions are perceived as mocking and humiliating subjectively, while the other party did not mean anything bad. This perception is based on low self-esteem or an internal psychological attitude to accept the behavior of others as harassment.

Violence is always an unlawful criminal act aimed at mocking the victim and aggression towards her. Criminal penalties are provided for physical, psychological, and sexual violence.

The difference can be seen in the example. An invitation to have dinner together in your boss's office after work can be considered harassment. If the boss gave you instructions to complete a task by tomorrow, you stayed late, and when you went home, the office door was locked and you had to go to the boss (even if there were no acts of sexual abuse), this is violence.

Here is an example of the difference between harassment and flirting. In the first case, a person is unpleasant that his person attracts attention and causes criticism. Because of this he suffers. An invitation to have lunch together is seen as a violation of personal boundaries. When flirting, coquetry and smiles are pleasant to both parties and do not cause discomfort. An invitation to a cafe during lunch is accepted with joy.

Legal side of harassment

Any citizen can contact the police with a complaint against an aggressor. Chapter 18 and Article 133 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation “Coercion to acts of a sexual nature” regulates this issue. The catch is that the prosecution will need evidence (video, biological examination, traces, etc.) and a couple of witnesses, which are difficult to find, since sexualized actions usually take place in private.

A woman has all the rights to protect herself from sexual harassment

Without evidence and witnesses, you can request a polygraph test of the culprit and the victim. A persistent lawyer can provoke the opening of a case.

Harassment is something that is also done verbally. In this case, it is almost impossible to prove the guilt of the aggressor in Russia. The phenomenon itself, according to officials, does not exist in the country; the article is not provided for in the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation.

For minors, there is a separate concept - sexual corruption (Article 135 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation). Here the culprit faces up to 20 years in prison, provided there are witnesses and evidence.

Famous cases with top personalities

The most notorious scandal, the echoes of which are still replete with the media, was the imprisonment of American producer Harvey Weinstein in 2022. The film industry tycoon was accused of sexual harassment, threats, and blackmail against employees of his company. Among the victims are Angelina Jolie, Gwyneth Pertlow, Jessica Mann. Harvey has already paid $44 million in compensation to victims of violence, charges continue to be filed, and the perpetrator faces up to 25 years in prison.

At the end of 2022, the famous opera singer Placido Domingo was put on trial. Several women were involved in the Spaniard's accusations, which destroyed his reputation and career. His illegal actions against his colleagues continued for 30 years, but the victims were afraid of losing their prestigious jobs, which is why they remained silent for so long. Domingo was fired from all positions. One of the famous victims is singer Patricia Wolf.

In Russia, the most notorious was a series of accusations of harassment in 2018. The scandals involved female journalists and State Duma deputy Leonid Slutsky, who was accused of harassment in the workplace. Official charges were never brought, since the law does not provide for a solution. After the incident, Leonid left a message on his Facebook page, where he asked for an apology from those who were ever offended by his actions.

Harassment in Russia still remains unpunished; initially, you can help yourself already at the first suspicions and unpleasant impressions of communicating with the aggressor. A formal accusation must be supported by evidence, witness testimony, and accompanied by an experienced lawyer. Psychological support is provided in psychological centers for women and charitable foundations.