Facing blackmail is a very stressful situation for the psyche. Most people believe that they will escape this fate, since there is nothing to take from them, and in this sense they are of no interest to attackers - however, life sometimes presents extremely unpleasant surprises. Anyone can become a victim of a blackmailer, and in this situation it is important to understand: how to act? Should you follow the blackmailer’s lead, or take a tough position and not give in to him, even at the risk of some extremely unfavorable consequences?
Ultimatum language
In a broad sense, blackmail is an ultimatum, a demand to perform certain actions, with the threat of sanctions for non-compliance. As a rule, the blackmailer threatens with exposure, the publication of certain data hidden by the victim, and demands money for silence, but other options are also possible. If the victim refuses to comply with his demands, the blackmailer may have a fairly wide range of options in his arsenal.
“Blackmail is a threat to make certain facts from one’s personal life public, the concealment of which could be commercialized. “I know, I’ll tell you, and if you don’t want it, buy this recording or photograph from me.” The threat is that this will become known to someone who doesn’t need it,” says psychotherapist of the highest category Alexander Fedorovich
.
Threats of reprisals or executions of hostages if the criminal’s demands are not met is something else, namely terrorism, he clarifies. Also, threats to carry out certain criminal actions in case of failure to comply with requirements may come under the article “extortion”.
If a person has witnessed a certain crime, he can demand money for concealing this act from criminal or administrative prosecution, but in this case he becomes an accomplice. “From this opera - economic blackmail: I know that my opponent is dishonest, I can pawn it to the leadership. From a criminal point of view, if I take money for this, this is no longer blackmail, but complicity, since according to the law, a person who witnesses a crime is obliged to report,” explains the MIR 24 expert. But adultery, for example, does not fit here - it is not a criminal offense.
Where to go and how to file a complaint about extortion
If you receive demands from an extortionist, you should not panic, but contact law enforcement agencies as soon as possible.
Extortion is a criminal offense, so a criminal complaint must be filed. The Criminal Procedure Code does not provide for any special requirements for the format and content of the application. A written form of application is encouraged, which describes in detail all the facts indicating a crime has been committed, and includes a request to initiate a criminal case.
When accepting a statement, a police officer is obliged to warn about criminal liability for knowingly false denunciation under Article 306 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation.
No concessions
The blackmailer does not necessarily demand money: it can be some kind of service or other action on the part of the victim. But there may be several possible reactions to the blackmailer’s demand. But if you cave in, it will only get worse, says the psychiatrist.
“From the point of view of the rules of conduct, in no case should you cave in, because this will only lead to one thing: the blackmailer will become incensed, and the likelihood that he will begin to make these demands again is very high. A blackmailer is a creature who cannot be trusted at all. In addition, any attempts to come to an agreement with him will be structurally absurd: the meaning is lost. If you agreed with the blackmailer, what’s the idea?” says the expert.
Earlier, the same idea was voiced by the leading Russian profiler and polygraph examiner, author of several methods for detecting lies, developer of methods for recognizing serial killers, President of the Research Center for Corporate Security Anna Kulik
.
“If all other points are missed, and the check has already been presented, you need to understand: having paid once, having fallen for this hook, a person automatically gives the scammer the “right” to milk him further. The scammer will not calm down, his goal is to accustom the victim to pay. Therefore, the sooner the realization comes that this story will last for a long time, like a subscription service, the better,” she explained.
You need to confidently stand your ground, Alexander Fedorovich agrees. “You need to weigh this situation and understand: what will bring the biggest problem? The essence of this problem comes down to an elementary combination of components. The victim somehow becomes dependent and still risks revealing himself in this situation. The blackmailer demands money or services, they are transferred to him or are provided, but still there can be no certainty that this story is over. That is why they say that it is absolutely forbidden to play this game, because it will be much more difficult to get out of it, and losses begin from the first step, concession, from the first financial tranche or some other action. It is not customary to talk to a blackmailer precisely because the losses will greatly exceed the possible positive outcome,” explains the doctor.
Depending on the level of blackmail, the consequences may be different. “If this is some very serious topic, then, in principle, the blackmailer is later found in a ditch with his throat cut. So for the blackmailer himself, this topic is very difficult, and in a situation of confrontation with some serious criminal capabilities of his opponent, he risks becoming a victim. And in most cases this is exactly what happens. Or the blackmailer is taken to the monastery. A person writes a statement about extortion, takes the money, goes to hand it over, and around there are operatives who lock up the attacker for 8 years, but not for blackmail, but for extortion,” says the expert.
How to neutralize a manipulator?
Listen to your emotions
If during communication they try to humiliate you, force you to do something, what thoughts come to your mind? “I’m selfish, ungrateful, worthless in this life”? If something like this happens to you, you have low self-esteem and at the moment of manipulation you fall into the role of a child.
Take a break from the specific situation and ask yourself: “Am I really selfish? I just fed the baby, tidied up my husband’s clothes, went to the store and bought groceries for the whole family. Am I really worthless? But just recently I wrote a book, figured out how to send a tax return electronically, and created a sketch of a wall for the hall.” Manipulators love to seize on a specific fact and present it as an example of bad behavior in general.
Give your share of responsibility in this situation.
“Here he is now telling me about his problem. Do I really relate to it or did the complexity arise independently of me?” Manipulators generally like to blur boundaries, mix up responsibilities and obligations (or, even better, put it all on you). Ask yourself the question: “To what extent can I help him (her) without infringing on my interests?” Once you set these boundaries, you will be able to make the right decisions and refuse in the future without feeling guilty.
Reflect the blow
Don't try to make excuses; any excuse weakens your position. Even if you are very worried, remain calm. At first it will be difficult, but then it will go automatically. In a calm tone, indicate your position, using phrases like “This is only your opinion”, “You can think as you want, but the situation will not change”, “I heard you, but I have a different point of view”, “It’s not about tastes” they argue,” “Indeed, I act differently from others, and I have the right to do so.” And an example from my practice: “You can think as you want, but no one has canceled the laws of psychology.” Your goal is to protect yourself and not react to your interlocutor’s provocations.
Preemptive strike
Why body language
is more important than facial expressions
The blackmailer needs to be “overtaken”, i.e. play ahead. For example, if the threat consists of disclosing some information, it is better for the victim to reveal it himself, cutting the ground from under the blackmailer’s feet. Then the structure of blackmail is lost, since we are talking about something that is already known. Confession and de-actualization of the situation is one of the key decisions, Fedorovich emphasizes. On the one hand, if there are some terrible secrets and serious matters at stake that will send the penitent to 15 years in a colony, this is fraught for the blackmailer with the above-mentioned “ditch” option; on the other hand, if everything is not so scary, it will be more profitable for the victim to “get burned.” " on one's own.
“If the secret is revealed by the blackmailer, i.e. if the hidden information leaks not from the person himself, but from third parties, then the losses will be much greater. The victim’s ability to defend himself will be minimized, they will begin to attack him, and if he confesses, the situation can be resolved much easier and with fewer losses,” explains the expert.
A blackmailer does not have a specific psychotype: given an unfavorable financial situation in his own pocket, anyone can become a blackmailer. “It would probably be more correct to characterize him not from the point of view of psychology or psychiatry, but from the point of view of society. That is, this is such a vile person, ready to profit from the problems of other people. But we will not find correlations between all blackmailers and any specific mental disorder. Such statistics do not exist,” says the doctor.
Types of blackmail
There are several main types of blackmail, but regardless of the severity of a particular type, they all pose a danger both to an individual and to society as a whole.
Emotional blackmail
In essence, emotional blackmail is a certain way of manipulating a person, and it is more likely of a psychological nature than legal.
Almost every person has encountered this form of blackmail; most often it is used against you by people close to you, and it is expressed in the form of the condition “if... then...”.
There is no criminal punishment for such manifestations of blackmail, but we must not forget that emotional blackmail can easily develop into a more serious form, which may subsequently entail a legal solution to the problem.
Blackmail from friends
This is an unpleasant situation. But often the role of the blackmailer is a person familiar to the victim: colleagues, neighbors, casual acquaintances, etc. Such a crime is easier to solve because the identity of the suspect does not need to be identified, unlike the situation when blackmail is carried out anonymously.
Blackmail on someone else's behalf
The most common type of blackmail. It is dangerous because you do not know who exactly is blackmailing you. This type is often found on the Internet.
Social networks are generally a favorite place for blackmailers; if you have access to your personal account, it costs nothing for a criminal to take possession of any confidential information that you did not intend to share with the public, and then blackmail you by making this information public.
Political blackmail
This type of blackmail is especially common today. It can be public or private, and most often is not associated with the manipulation of a particular person, but with the desire to achieve something from the community that he represents. Such blackmail can be fraught with a variety of consequences.
Don't get caught up in emotions
The step-by-step instructions for interacting with a blackmailer look like this. If a person has just encountered something like this for the first time, he experiences stress. “The first phase of stress is shock. It can only be removed with medication; no other options will work. You should immediately take valerian. Therefore, the first thing to do when faced with a blackmailer is to interrupt him as quickly as possible, for example, by turning off the phone. Because he will call anyway - it is very important for a blackmailer to achieve his goal. He will whine to the last. So you need to interrupt this communication in any way, and get yourself a pile, no matter what. It is important that at the moment when a powerful release of stress hormones occurs, a powerful sedative effect is obtained,” notes Fedorovich.
The second stage is to involve a third party with whom you can confidentially discuss this topic, the psychotherapist emphasizes. “Shock for one does not necessarily mean shock for another; another may talk about it more coolly. Or it will help rationalize emotions, give emotional experiences some kind of brain basis. There is absolutely no need to stew in these emotions alone,” explains Alexander Fedorovich.
The third thing to do is to expand the circle of third parties to include a specialist. It doesn’t matter who – a lawyer, a psychotherapist, but it must be a person who knows certain techniques and methodologies that can actively help in this process, support the individual psychologically or physiologically, or give the situation some clear picture within which the strategy will be highlighted.
The fourth stage is determining the behavior strategy. Of course, it is impossible to sum up a general strategy for all special individual cases, but the general rules are still the same: do not play the game with the conspirator, figure out the identity of this person, otherwise interaction will not work, and understand how to interact with him. “It is impossible to make any recommendations here. For some, it may be easier to kill this blackmailer, for others - to dig up incriminating evidence on him, someone will want to bring him to legal responsibility before he has time to take any actions. There are no other options,” Fedorovich emphasizes.
The main thing for a blackmailer is to do everything quickly, quietly, clearly, to cut down everything he needs, taking advantage of the moment of shock. And then go into the shadows and stay in it. “The main thing for him is not to reveal himself. Therefore, there is no need to fuss, you should take care of your body, attract people and figure out who it is. If the blackmailer does not achieve his goal, he will begin to look for other options. It is unlikely that this person will suddenly behave honestly. Therefore, figuratively speaking, until the blackmailer is neutralized, it will be very difficult to get rid of him. And this should be done by professionals, specially trained people. And any attempt to personally control this situation is fraught,” the psychotherapist concluded.
