What are the risks of early sexual activity?
From the point of view of sexopathology, early sexual activity is considered a deviant (not the norm) deviation if full physiological and sexual maturity has not yet occurred: for girls - up to 15-16 years, and for boys - up to 16-17 years.
To love and live a fulfilling sexual life, a person’s psyche must be mature. Teenagers are incapable of being sexual altruists due to high arousal and the desire to quickly get sexual release, and therefore are incapable of long foreplay. Doctors say that early sexual activity does not accelerate the sexual development of a teenager, but, on the contrary, can cause undesirable consequences that carry over into adulthood.
Failure of the first sexual experience can lead to the creation of an inferiority complex in a teenager and the emergence of fear of intimacy. Fear is fixed and can completely discourage interest in sex in adulthood or create serious sexual problems.
Sex therapists argue that it would be possible to ignore these intimate relationships of adolescents (let them do what they want), but their consequence is harm to health, which almost always manifests itself sooner or later. According to statistics, 20% of families cannot have children due to the fact that one of the partners or both had early sexual activity. Sexual infections spread among adolescents who enter into intimate relationships, and since they hide the fact of their illness and do not receive treatment from doctors, the diseases become persistently chronic.
If teenagers begin to be sexually active, then growth slows down and the normal development and formation of the teenage body is disrupted. Indeed, every person, including a child, has a finite amount of energy that is spent on life support and development of the body, and studying requires a huge amount of effort. Early sexual activity takes away too much strength from the body of a teenager, at this time of incomplete development (from 13 to 18 years). Let us note that when the development of a certain sphere of life support in a person is not completed, then during its exploitation this sphere takes away from the rest of the organism everything that it requires.
As a result, the body does not have enough strength to continue full development, both physical and intellectual: teenagers quickly get tired, lose interest in learning and the curiosity that they had before.
Often girls, being absolutely unprepared for sexual relations, simply give in to the guy for fear of losing him. For guys, sexual relationships are exclusively mechanical in nature - they do not know how to love spiritually.
Girls usually find it pleasant, but most often they do not experience an orgasm, and boys complete their process of arousal almost immediately, and sometimes even without starting anything.
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So what's wrong with all this? A girl, having experienced pain, is afraid of boys and in adult life gets difficulties and problems in her future family. And if a young man receives psychological trauma due to failure, then he cannot be a full-fledged partner in adult life.
In addition, due to inexperience, an unwanted pregnancy is possible, and doctors also say that a girl can become pregnant even before the onset of menstruation. The birth of a child or termination of pregnancy is a great stress for an adult woman, and even more so for a girl.
Sexopathologists believe that a person is fully ready for sexual life by the age of 18-19, since it is by this time that a person’s mental structure of an adult is formed. Doctors believe that up to this age a teenager is able to endure, otherwise he may get an inferiority complex, problems with sex in adulthood, and sometimes an absolute impossibility of building meaningful relationships and starting a family.
It is not hormones that push a teenager to start having sex, but psychological factors: the influence of society, that is, information from the environment and the influence of peers. Boys at such a young age only need the process itself, while girls want affection and attention, that is, relationships. Therefore, guys, having gotten what they want, most often leave the girls and move on to the next partners. For girls, such a gap is a big disappointment and a reason to worry.
Boys, in turn, can suffer psychological trauma due to their sexual failure, since they cannot yet control their body - hormones do not allow it. What if a girl starts making fun of or mocking her partner because of this and compares her with her previous partners? And if, due to her indelicacy, she begins to tell her peers about this, then the guy will have serious stress, including fear of women in adulthood. Girls, when they are abandoned for the sake of others, cease to believe in normal relationships with the opposite sex - and this can also spread into adulthood.
Apparently, we can still say that this phenomenon, sex life in adolescents, is a risk factor for the health of the younger generation, that is, our children.
Early pregnancy statistics
The diagram shows pregnancies at the age of 15-19 years, per 1000 girls of this age in countries with reliable pregnancy statistics based on data for 2008-2011. (Russia - 2013).
According to 2013 data, in Russia 46 girls aged 15-19 per 1000 become pregnant every year. In fact, this means that one or two students in each school year, starting from the ninth grade, become pregnant every year.
The following chart shows the ratio of births and abortions during early pregnancy in different countries based on data for the same years.
Gave birth at 16 years old
Nizhny Novgorod resident Tatyana Falina became a mother for the first time at the age of 16. The pregnancy, of course, was unplanned, but neither the future husband Artyom nor the girl’s mother refused her help and love. Moreover, Tatyana decided to finish school, although the director of the educational institution, out of harm’s way, suggested that she leave quietly with a certificate.
“Physiologically, my pregnancy was difficult,” Tatyana recalls today. “But psychologically I felt good, because there were loving people nearby who were ready to support me. This is probably why my daughter was born healthy and calm. I remember feeling very happy, although there were enough everyday problems. Early motherhood did not change my life globally: I went to university and continued to communicate with friends. Two years later I even decided to have a second child. Today I am 38 and I adore my children. By the way, my classmate also became pregnant with me. Her parents insisted on an abortion. And then the girl drank herself to death..."
Tatyana says that she is not a supporter of early motherhood, but if this happened, then both the girl’s relatives and society should try to ensure that the situation has a happy ending.
Gave birth at 16 years old
Liliya Prokhorenkova became pregnant at the age of 16 from a 20-year-old guy after four months of dating. The future father did not try to escape responsibility and even volunteered to inform the girl’s parents about the pregnancy. The young mother studied at an art school, she had to switch to the correspondence department. “Thanks to my mother, I didn’t feel like I was missing out on my youth: I had the opportunity to go on a visit or take a walk with my husband. In addition, fears about lack of sleep due to the child did not come true - my daughter slept until 11 o’clock in the morning almost every day,” says Lilia. Lilia started working remotely soon after the birth of her child, and at 2 years old the baby was sent to a nursery, and she started a second job. “I have never regretted my decision: I really enjoy being a young mother, and now my husband and I are planning a second child,” Lilia shares.
She gave birth at the age of 15 in defiance of her mother
Alexandra Gladkovskaya gave birth at the age of 15, despite her mother’s insistence that she have an abortion. After the birth of a child, whose father the schoolgirl never named, the family’s life turned into a series of endless scandals. Two years later, the young grandmother decided that she knew better how to raise her grandson, kicked her daughter out of the apartment and began to seek deprivation of Alexandra’s parental rights. Later, the relatives reconciled, but whether their life became truly peaceful - history is silent.
Gave birth at 14 years old
A resident of the Nizhny Novgorod region, Natalya Knyazkova became a grandmother at the age of 29, thanks to her 14-year-old daughter Anastasia. Russia's youngest grandmother took guardianship of little Nikita to give her daughter and her 17-year-old boyfriend the opportunity to finish school.
Gave birth at the age of 14 from a teacher
The childhood of a schoolgirl from the Saratov region, Lyuba Bessudnova, ended in 2013. An exemplary student gave birth to a son at the age of 14. It turned out that the father of the child was Lyuba’s 24-year-old mathematics teacher, and he was married. The teacher for a long time denied his involvement in the girl’s pregnancy, so a DNA test was done that confirmed paternity. But even after this, the man did not admit his guilt. The court put an end to this story, finding the teacher guilty and sentencing him to 4 years in a penal colony. The grandmother, Lyuba’s mother, took care of raising the baby. The girl continued her education at school.
Gave birth at 12 years old
Veronika Ivanova from Yakutia was very proud of her adult boyfriend in front of her friends - 19-year-old Valery drove a 12-year-old girl in a car and bought gifts. As it turned out later, he was repeatedly convicted of drug trafficking, and was sentenced to 8 years for seducing a minor, Veronica. Meanwhile, sixth-grader Veronica, who had long hidden her situation from her parents and teachers, gave birth to a daughter. The child was taken in by her grandmother to give her daughter the opportunity to complete her education at night school.
Gave birth at age 11
Valentina Isaeva from Kapotnya near Moscow became a mother at the age of 11. She became pregnant by a 17-year-old migrant worker from Tajikistan, Habib Patakhonov. The young man rented a room in the apartment where Valya lived with her grandmother. When it became known that the third-grader was pregnant, a criminal case was opened against the guy, but the situation was resolved peacefully. The couple was allowed to start a family after the girl reached adulthood. In 2010, when Valentina turned 18, the young people got married, and three years later they had another son, Amir.
Valya worked as a cashier, and her husband worked as a storekeeper in a furniture warehouse. But alas, the story did not end there. In 2015, Valentina ran away from home due to constant beatings caused by her husband's jealousy. In September 2022, the couple announced that they were divorcing. Valya herself spoke about this on the “Let Them Talk” broadcast and stated that she already has another one.
Is it possible to prevent this phenomenon?
The age from 13.5 to 18 years, when the onset of sexual activity in adolescents is observed, corresponds to the transformation of the structure of the psyche of a teenager into the structure of the psyche of an adult. Teenagers deal with many of the challenges of growing up, including overcoming their teenage traits. They search for themselves, trying various types of activities, within the framework of which they change themselves in order to become a person, an adult. In other words, after the age of 13.5, a teenager’s “internal engine” turns on, as it were, and he strives to become an adult whose qualities correspond to his ideas about this. By the age of 13.5, a teenager has almost completely formed the image of the “Ideal Self”, into which he places those traits and qualities of an adult that he would like to possess, which seem necessary to him in his future life, for example, confident, authoritative. In order for these features to appear in his “Ideal Self,” they must be generally recognized and not raise doubts. These personality traits can cause admiration in a teenager, amaze him with delight, interest him, or simply emotionally touch him, for example, such as courage, perseverance, dedication, and honesty. The criterion for completing the maturation process is the approximation of the adolescent’s personality qualities to the qualities of the “Ideal Self.” This is the time when they become adults, that is, capable of being responsible for everything around them, including themselves.
Of course, the ideal image of a teenager includes such an attribute as sexuality. At all times, this area of life has attracted teenagers and attracted them with its closed nature. In an effort to become adults, they try to try out this activity: both to gain experience and find out what it is, and also to be “no worse” than their peers.
Of course, their “ideal self” usually contains the following: “an adult has sex,” maybe that’s why they are so eager to do it, and the ban on it has been lifted in our time.
Parents can be recommended to influence the teenager at the stage of forming his “ideal self” and make the necessary adjustments to his ideas about intimate relationships so that his “ideal self” contains the following statement:
A person begins to have full-fledged intimate relationships at the age of 18-19, that is, when his psyche becomes that of an adult. How can this be done in reality? It is necessary to convey to them, emotionally, in order to be perceived, knowledge of the dangers to which they will be exposed if they begin to have sex at an early age. This is what was discussed earlier: slowing or stopping growth; emerging difficulties in studying, as the energy for intellectual activity is reduced; the spread of sexually transmitted infections, the possibility of becoming pregnant, as well as the risk of psychological trauma and even loss of the opportunity to have children.
Previously, before the modern sexual revolution, there were certain external strict regulators that did not allow, did not recommend, or even simply prohibited teenagers from entering into intimate relationships. This was the opinion of both society and religion. In other words, in each specific community, established laws, foundations and traditions were observed. This was developed by generations of people to maintain the stability of society, including to preserve the health of the younger generation. And the parents could only maintain this established order in the family. Now, when external regulators have been practically destroyed, parents need to take care of the health of their growing children themselves, without outside help.
It is known that the “ideal self” is formed under the influence of society, including the media, parents and peers. Now the influence of the media and the Internet is enormous, there is almost open propaganda of early sexual activity: everything is shown in detail on TV screens, in addition, teenagers have fairly free access to porn products; Yes, their peers only talk about how skilled they are and how many partners they have already had, although for the most part they lie.
Of all these factors influencing a teenager, only one is available to parents - their own influence. Only they in our time can somehow restrain a teenager from research activities in the field of intimate relationships. This influence can become effective if relationships in the family, parents and children are trusting. It is necessary that children retain the opportunity to “hear” the wishes and advice of their parents, at least as much as it was in early childhood. At the same time, we must learn to reduce the demanding notes in our conversations with children (as they grow up), giving them some independence. I would like the children to see you as a friend who will not betray you and will not become a controlling authority, but will lend their shoulder in a difficult situation.
What to do if this, entering into sexual activity, has already happened
If your child is already sexually active or has just tried it, and you have suspicions, then try to take the girl to the doctor without asking her whether she is a virgin or not.
Inform children about how to protect themselves, talk about possible sexually transmitted infections, pregnancy, etc. Maybe teenagers don’t know that they are not obligated to give their partner everything he wants. Perhaps you will find it possible to talk about the fact that there are, for example, other ways, besides sexual intercourse, to relieve sexual arousal.
By the way, dancing is a socially acceptable and accessible option for relieving such arousal. You can encourage your children to make up their own sexual “exploits” to overcome the pressure of peers who boast excessively about their sexual exploits. You might remember the movie “At Sea,” in which 13-year-old children ask each other for permission to lie to their friends about their sexual relationships.
Photo source: shutterstock.com
No need to cause additional injury
We have already talked about the need to build trusting relationships with your children, which is absolutely necessary so that children do not rush out of home for the warmth and attention of strangers.
In addition to the desire to be with the person he loves, the teenager will also have a desire to create an atmosphere of goodwill and love around himself. Children may seek a replacement for their family. We understand that at such a young age this is impossible. Disappointments in love among teenagers will only emphasize the alienation in their own family. A relationship of trust is also necessary because a child in a difficult, incomprehensible situation will be able to tell you about his problems and thereby somehow solve them, and not drive himself into despair, and then you, forcing you to change your life in the family.
Such problems that cannot be resolved for him may include: pregnancy, sexually transmitted infections, as well as psychological trauma. You can talk about one guy who, after his failure in intimate relationships, found himself the object of ridicule and simply bullying: not only did the girl laugh at him, but she also told her classmates about it. The guy said that he would not go to this school. And now he is afraid that the new school will find out about this and the ridicule will continue. The result of this event may be a disruption in relationships with women in his future adult life.
Teenagers sometimes may not understand that they have received a sexually transmitted infection, which needs to be treated immediately, and if they do, they do not go to the doctor, but consult with friends and start taking antibiotics themselves. Self-medication, of course, does not lead to any good.
The teenager should have the opportunity to talk about this with his parents and go to the doctor with them. The same applies to a possible pregnancy - the girl is afraid to tell her parents about it, so everything becomes clear in the late stages of pregnancy and there is no choice.
Since teenagers have nowhere to meet, their intimate relationships usually take place at home, sometimes it happens in hallways or on the street. If teenagers are found at home, then there is no need to create a scandal by demonstratively expelling your child’s partner from the house, or even both. It is a huge stress for them that they were caught doing this adult activity, and if this is also accompanied by a scandal, then the event becomes simply a disaster. You've let off steam, outraged by this behavior, but what will change? Most likely, your child will not stop having sex, but you will ruin your relationship with him, perhaps forever. In such situations you should be very delicate, and you need to get out of them with extreme caution. I would like to say right away - maybe this is your fault. What is it, your fault? Maybe at home there are scandals, swearing, lack of attention to the teenager, maybe you are focused on taking care of the younger child? Maybe you didn’t tell your teenager in time about the dangers of early sexual activity or didn’t teach him how to be courteous and make friends, you just didn’t talk to him about it at all?..
Relationship with a 16 year old - is there any punishment?
Criminal Code of the Russian Federation
Article 134. Sexual intercourse and other actions of a sexual nature with a person under sixteen years of age
1. Sexual intercourse with a person under the age of sixteen, committed by a person who has reached the age of eighteen, is punishable by compulsory labor for a term of up to four hundred eighty hours, or by restriction of freedom for a term of up to four years, or by forced labor for a term of up to four years with deprivation of rights hold certain positions or engage in certain activities for a term of up to three years or without it, or imprisonment for a term of up to four years with deprivation of the right to hold certain positions or engage in certain activities for a term of up to ten years or without it.
2. Sodomy or lesbianism with a person under the age of sixteen, committed by a person who has reached the age of eighteen, -
shall be punishable by forced labor for a term of up to five years with deprivation of the right to hold certain positions or engage in certain activities for a term of up to three years or without it, or imprisonment for a term of up to six years with deprivation of the right to hold certain positions or engage in certain activities for a term of up to ten years, or without one.
3. Acts provided for in parts one or two of this article, committed with a person who has reached the age of twelve, but has not reached the age of fourteen, -
shall be punishable by imprisonment for a term of three to ten years with or without deprivation of the right to hold certain positions or engage in certain activities for a term of up to fifteen years and with or without restriction of freedom for a term of up to two years.
4. Acts provided for in parts one, two or three of this article, committed in relation to two or more persons, -
shall be punishable by imprisonment for a term of eight to fifteen years with or without deprivation of the right to hold certain positions or engage in certain activities for a term of up to twenty years.
5. Acts provided for in parts one, two, three or four of this article, committed by a group of persons, a group of persons by prior conspiracy or an organized group, -
shall be punishable by imprisonment for a term of twelve to twenty years with deprivation of the right to hold certain positions or engage in certain activities for a term of up to twenty years or without it and with restriction of freedom for a term of up to two years or without it.
6. Acts provided for in part three of this article, committed by a person who has a criminal record for a previously committed crime against the sexual integrity of a minor, -
shall be punishable by imprisonment for a term of fifteen to twenty years with deprivation of the right to hold certain positions or engage in certain activities for a term of up to twenty years, or life imprisonment.
Notes. 1. A person who has committed a crime for the first time, provided for in the first part of this article, shall be released by the court from punishment if it is established that this person and the crime he committed have ceased to be socially dangerous due to marriage with the victim.
2. If the age difference between the victim (victim) and the defendant (defendant) is less than four years, the latter shall not be punished by imprisonment for the committed act provided for in part one of this article or part one of article 135 of this Code.
