My boyfriend blackmails me into breaking up when he doesn't like something

What is blackmail

Blackmail as a type of extortion is a criminal offense not only in Russia, but also in Belarus, Ukraine, etc. This crime should be understood as actions aimed at threatening to expose the victim and demands for material reward (extortion). For example, a blackmailer can use Internet correspondence or photographs from social networks (Vkontakte, Facebook, etc.) for his own purposes.

If we talk more specifically about the types of blackmail that scammers use to get rich, they include:

1. Emotional blackmail. It implies a certain psychological manipulation by the extortionist of his victim.
2. Political blackmail.
3. Hidden blackmail. The extortionist acts on someone else's behalf or hides his identity.

With the development of Internet technologies, a lot of personal information has become available to various attackers. It is not difficult for a good specialist to hack any page on the Internet in order to subsequently blackmail his victim.

Important! Blackmail and fraud should not be confused, as these are different crimes.

What to do to prevent the blackmailer from distributing incriminating evidence?

Is it possible to prevent a person from writing to my friends?

Unfortunately no. After all, even if this were possible, he could create other pages or find other ways to connect with people.

Will it help me if I delete all my friends?

No, it won't help. The blackmailer saved links to all your friends in advance.

Will it help me if I delete my page?

No, it won't help. It will not change anything. Everything you sent to the blackmailer will not be deleted anywhere, and he already knows how to contact your friends. Deleting a page will only create problems for you - you will lose all correspondence, photos, friends, subscriptions. Later you will want to restore the page, but not everyone succeeds.

Will it help if I restore access to the hacked page?

Most likely, the blackmailer has already copied personal information somewhere if he gained access to your page. For example, I saved it on my computer. Of course, you need to restore access to the hacked page, but this is unlikely to stop the blackmailer if he already has something to blackmail you with.

Popular methods

There are different ways to extort money through blackmail. In particular, attackers can use the following methods:

1. Blackmail on Skype.
2. Blackmail on a social network.
3. Online dating.
4. Use of personal information by loved ones.

Skype is known to be used for making video calls. Fraudsters often take advantage of this by communicating with the victim and challenging her to have frank conversations. The video is recorded at this time, which makes it possible to threaten the person with its distribution. The victim is ready to pay any amount so that this video does not become public knowledge.

The next method is to hack a VK account or any other site. Even if intimate photos or other incriminating information is well hidden, a blackmailer can easily obtain it. After this, the victim receives threats to post them on the Internet. For example, send a newsletter among friends. Therefore, you should be extremely careful even about private publications of such photos, pictures, etc.

Online dating is one of the most popular methods of blackmail. To do this, it is not even necessary to register on special sites, since an attacker can “ask to be a friend” through Contact. After meeting, the new fan begins to ask the victim to send intimate photos or begins a rather frank correspondence. The results of these actions are subsequently used to extort money.

Often such personal incriminating evidence is used by former friends, as well as boys or girls with whom the victim was in a relationship. They also threaten to send out personal photos or publish other information unless they are given an appropriate reward. Attackers prefer to blackmail exes with photographs under a false name.

The subject of blackmail can be anything, not just intimate information. For example, the victim committed some act in the past, etc. The consequences of the ransomware's actions can be unpredictable. People driven to extremes often commit suicide, and this is an aggravating circumstance that affects punishment.

Psychology of blackmail

In order to be well prepared for a meeting with swindlers, and to know what to do when blackmailed, you should first understand the psychology of this phenomenon. Power over the victim! This is the whole effect of extortion, so the threat of blackmail acts as the main lever of pressure, which allows you to drive the victim into a corner and subjugate him, forcing him to carry out orders for his own benefit. Basically, blackmailers do not stop once they get what they want, and continue to oppress the person, demand fulfillment of their desires and enrich themselves at his expense further.

Emotional blackmail

One of the forms of everyday manipulation is energy vampirism and emotional blackmail, which boils down to only one thing - to get what you want by any means necessary. Most families have such relatives. Threats and reproaches fly from their lips, pursuing one goal. And almost everyone succumbs to such “persuasions,” not suspecting that they themselves are elevating themselves to the rank of a victim of blackmail.

There are three types of emotional tormentors:

1. "Tyrant"
   demands unquestioning obedience. He acts harshly, is stubborn and assertive in achieving his goal, without giving the victim the slightest chance of refusal. Rough treatment with threats: “Just try not to do ...” or “I’m warning you for the last time ...”, lead the victim into a state of emotional oppression and depression.
2. "The Sufferer"
   . This type of blackmailer is the exact opposite of the first. Feigned weakness, sickness, and depression force caring relatives to follow their lead. Often, sad speeches end with statements about a serious illness or desire to die, planned suicide, or the phrase “no one loves me, no one understands me, no one cares about me,” in order to achieve the fulfillment of the energy vampire’s demands.
3. “Guilty without guilt
   . Such blackmailers are subtle psychologists who are capable of instilling in their victims the idea of ​​some kind of guilt or a sense of duty to them. The “guilty” practically drive themselves into such bondage and believe that they are doing everything right, indulging the whims of the blackmailer.

Sexual blackmail

Sexual blackmail can also occur in relationships between people, but it is divided into several types:

1. Blackmail in relationships
   . He is temperamental, she is not so much. As a result of the dissimilarity of temperaments, sooner or later an ultimatum will arise: “if not with you, then with someone else.” In such a situation, relationships, as a rule, are doomed to failure, because under constant pressure, intimate intimacy will only lead to irritation and disgust.
2. Forcing sex under pressure
   . This is a common scenario in most relationships started on dating sites or at parties. As a rule, men act as blackmailers in such a situation, demanding intimacy from women, and the latter may agree without much desire for fear of missing out on a promising groom. However, we should not forget that many men can only play blackmail, thus checking the lady they like for availability.
3. Forcing intimacy either for the provision of some service, or as payment for concealing incriminating evidence
   . This is the most vile form of sexual blackmail, involving violence.

How to react

If there is a possibility of blackmail, you must first calm down and understand which of your friends can do this. If a page on the Internet has been hacked, you should contact the site’s technical support staff with a complaint. In a blackmail situation, the reaction of the victim is very important, since any wrong actions can lead to a worsening of the situation.

If a person follows the blackmailer’s lead, the situation will develop according to one of the following scenarios:

1. After transferring the required amount, the blackmailer continues to extort money from his victim. This can take a very long time.
2. As soon as a person pays for blackmail, the criminal posts incriminating materials (photos, videos, notes) for public access.
3. Stories where, after payment, the extortionist actually fulfills his part of the deal and destroys everything, happen very rarely. Therefore, it is useless to fight on your own, so you should contact law enforcement agencies.

Signs of blackmail

The most important weapon of a blackmailer is information supported by evidence. This could be a candid photo, compromising audio recording or video. In personal relationships, a blackmailer can play on feelings for him, for example, by threatening suicide, breaking up relationships, or moral suffering. Often the victim does not always realize his dependence on the blackmailer. This can be determined by the following aspects:

• searching for justification for one’s actions in relation to the blackmailer;
• doing something to please someone else;
• unquestioning compliance;
• committing acts against one’s desire to end the suffering of a loved one;

• weak-willedness and complete subordination.

How to get rid of a blackmailer

You cannot make concessions and immediately pay for blackmail on VKontakte. One payment will not get rid of the ransomware. Most likely, he will extract money from the victim all the time. Some attackers do this for years, scamming people out of ever-increasing sums.

You should not immediately refuse the blackmailer and openly conflict with him. Otherwise, all private information will be known to friends, acquaintances, etc. In this situation, it is important to do the right thing, without provoking the ransomware to take active action. Usually such criminals give their victims time to make a choice, and they need to take advantage of it.

So where should you go first? Naturally, you need to go to the nearest police station and write a statement. The department staff will help you complete the document. The main thing is to indicate all the circumstances under which the threat of extortion of funds arose. It is also necessary to attach available evidence, for example, a video recording of a conversation, screenshots of correspondence with the attacker, etc.

What to do if you are blackmailed?

Blackmail and extortion, in fact, are crimes with one underlying reason - a ransom demand. It is worth immediately noting that for the most part, neither swindlers nor domestic “terrorists” stop once they get what they want, and continue to use their power over the victim in order to satisfy their own ambitions. Therefore, it is imperative to know what to do when blackmailed and how to behave with the tormentor.

How to deal with a blackmailer?

1. Under no circumstances should you panic. You should pull yourself together and think soberly.
2. Do not take into account what the blackmailer tells you, because his main goal is to intimidate and take control of everything. Behave calmly, because the swindler certainly does not expect such behavior from you.
3. Do not try to negotiate with the extortionist and do not give him what he asks for. In this situation, it is best to stall for time so that law enforcement can understand this matter.
4. If you are being blackmailed with information, then it is better to tell your relatives about your “sins” yourself. This way you will present the information as it is, without embellishment, and there will be nothing to blackmail you with.

How to get rid of a blackmailer?

The main defense against blackmail is the absolute ignoring of the blackmailer. If you do not respond to threats in any way, then the extortion is more likely to stop, because the blackmailer’s goal is not to compromise, but to make money. We should also not forget that the best defense is an attack, that is, bringing charges, and the punishment for blackmail provides for real and serious prison terms under several articles, depending on the severity of the crime. Let's look at liability for blackmail using the laws of the Russian Federation as an example:

• Art. 163 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation – extortion, up to 15 years in prison and a fine of up to 250 thousand rubles;
• Art. 138 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation - violation of the secrecy of correspondence is punishable by a fine of up to 80 thousand rubles;
• Art. 137 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation – violation of privacy. Punishment of up to 2 years in prison and a fine of up to 250 thousand rubles.

How to prove the fact of a threat

It is possible to prove the fact of blackmail on the Internet, but it is much more difficult to bring the extortionist to justice. The problem is that it is not easy to locate the blackmailer, since they change IP addresses very often and use different programs. But it is still possible to track the criminal.

Victims of blackmailers very often prefer to pay money and do not contact the police. This is due to the fact that in this case the person has to tell intimate details of his life and explain the reason for the blackmail. Even if it is not connected to another crime, it is always a big stress.

Is it possible to identify the blackmailer?

Think about it: what might VKontakte know about a blackmailer? Last name, first name, patronymic, home address, place of work? Of course not. Phone number? IP address? What would such information tell you? Fraudsters use disposable phone numbers; you are unlikely to be able to reach them. By IP address you only recognize the Internet provider and the city. Let's say it's 5 thousand kilometers from you. And what?

Next: imagine that VK gives you some information about the blackmailer, you find him and, for the purpose of revenge, commit some crime. Does VK want to become an accomplice of another criminal? But let's say you want to get information about the blackmailer and go to the police with it. So go to the police, as indicated at the beginning. When necessary, the police themselves will receive the necessary information from the VK administration.

Films about blackmail

Some of the most action-packed genres in cinema are films and TV series about extortion:

1. "Pretty Little Liars"
   . The action of this series revolves around four girls who, a year after the death of their mutual friend Alison, begin to be blackmailed by an unknown person. The blackmailer holds many of their secrets and secrets, even those that were known only to the deceased.
2. "Enemy of the state"
   . When you unwittingly become the owner of evidence incriminating a high-ranking official, it is no longer clear who the ideal victim for blackmail is, because a real hunt begins for you.
3. "The beauty and the Beast"
   . Are you ready to remain imprisoned in the monster's castle to save your father's life? A serious step that will completely change the fate of the beautiful Belle.