Despite the fact that family support programs in Russia are developing rhythmically, divorce statistics remain disappointing. More than half of families break up for various reasons. Some people get divorced peacefully, while others get divorced painfully. There are often cases when the ex-husband, harboring a grudge, tries in every possible way to express hatred and hostility towards his ex-wife, sometimes moving from words to deeds. Then women wonder what to do if their ex-husband threatens with violence.
What is stalking?
At its core, stalking consists of repeated attempts to gain control or terrorize someone. This may include frequent phone calls, letters, or online contacts.
In its more extreme manifestations it is expressed in:
- repeated visits to the victim's home;
- threats against a person;
- harm to domestic animals;
- theft of property;
- interfering with a person's relationships with friends, family or colleagues.
Stalkers can alternate between domestic violence and stalking itself, for example, it could be an ex-husband threatening violence.
Each state sets its own legal criteria for defining stalking. The law generally requires multiple unwanted contacts and requires the victim to be in fear for his or her safety.
For example, an employee who comes to a person's office every day will not stalk him, and a secret admirer who sends flowers once a week is not necessarily a stalker. Repeated contact rises to the level of stalking when it is intended to gain power over the person and cause emotional terror.
Threats to take the child
Ex-husbands do not necessarily threaten physical violence. Often they make threats to take the child away from the mother, take him away from the country, or something else like that. Such statements, of course, have nothing to do with Art. 119 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation. If, for example, a father kidnapped a child, then another article of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation applies - Art. 126. But this is the case if the minor’s place of residence is determined with the mother, and the father, without her knowledge, took the child to an unknown direction.
Conclusion: conflicts between ex-husband and wife often reach the point where threats are made. You need to be careful with such statements, since criminal law provides for an article if threats involve causing harm to a person’s health or taking his life. To protect your rights, you can contact the police for investigation.
Why do people stalk each other?
Why is the ex-husband or partner stalking the victim? Stalkers often emphasize that they “love” their victims and sometimes say that they do this to keep others safe. For example, an ex-boyfriend who is making things difficult might say that he does this to make sure that his wife is taking proper care of the children.
Psychologically, it is a desire for control.
What is the basis:
- Stalkers view their victims as property that rightfully belongs to them.
- Stalking behavior is often triggered by an ex-partner's breakup or new relationship.
- Some mental health problems can lead to stalking. For example, if the guy is a psychopath.
- People with personality problems, such as a borderline personality diagnosis, may have trouble letting go of relationships and sometimes use manipulative tactics to control people.
Not all stalkers have mental illness. The vast majority of them are men.
Corpus delicti
According to Article 119 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation, the threat of murder or infliction of grievous bodily harm is a crime and entails criminal liability.
You can hold your husband accountable only in the following cases:
- if there was a threat of murder or serious harm;
- the threat was real and was perceived as a real danger.
The form of communication can be not only oral, but also written or electronic, as well as arising from actions. For example, a demonstration of weapons.
How to determine the reality of the threat?
The reality of the threat determines its unambiguity . The words spoken must indicate an intention to cause serious harm to the spouse or to commit violence. The reality of the threat may be:
- objective - this is a threat that the husband can actually realize at the moment;
- subjective - perceived by the victim as real, however, the husband relies only on mental impact.
It doesn’t matter whether it was the man’s intention to carry out what was said, the corpus delicti is already present at the stage of the threat.
IMPORTANT! The actual implementation of the threat is beyond the scope of this article and entails other criminal liability.
- Example 1 .
As a result of the quarrel, the husband threatened his wife with grievous bodily harm with a knife. In the process, the woman was pressed with her back against the wall while a weapon flashed before her eyes. She had no doubt about her husband’s intentions to take her life. In this case, there is corpus delicti. - Example 2 .
The husband promised to break his wife's arm if she touched his car again. This appeal cannot be considered a threat; there is no corpus delicti.
What to do
If your ex is stalking and threatening, don't make excuses for the stalker or tell yourself you're overreacting. Tell a friend or family member what is happening so there is a witness. If you are in immediate danger, dial 03.
There is no harm in over-reacting, but under-reacting, in extreme cases, can have fatal consequences.
What else can you do if your ex-husband or boyfriend makes threats to stay safe:
- Change your daily routine frequently to make it harder for the stalker to find you.
- Instruct friends, family and employers not to disclose information about you without your express permission.
- Keep a log of each incident so that there is evidence that you are being stalked by a stalker if you need to press charges.
Documents everything
Stalking is often difficult to prove, so it's really important to try to gather evidence, even if that means writing down what you saw.
If your ex-husband or boyfriend is stalking you, you need to:
- keep letters and/or gifts from him;
- store screenshots of texts or online insults;
- take photographs of graffiti or destroyed property in the position in which you found it;
- Keep all evidence in a safe place (for example, on a USB drive at a friend's house).
Whenever an incident involving harassment or threats occurs, be sure to write down what happened, where, the date and time, and the names of any witnesses.
All this evidence will be important for the police investigation and if the case goes to trial.
If you are being stalked by an ex, boyfriend or partner, it is best to report it to the police immediately - ideally no more than two weeks after it starts.
If you are being tormented for more than two weeks, the stalker will most likely continue to follow you for 6-12 months. If this is a real psychopath, he could pursue his ex-girlfriend for several years.
Tell the police what's going on, show them the evidence you've collected, and ask what you can do to improve your safety.
How to hold people accountable?
Prosecution for threats emanating from an ex-husband can be carried out on the basis of several articles of the Criminal Code. The specific article is determined by the investigator after considering the application to initiate a criminal case. Such a case is opened on the basis of a complaint filed by the victim to the police or investigative committee at the victim’s place of residence.
In order for the application to be fully pursued, it must be accompanied by primary evidence.
Everything is done in the following order of actions:
- If the threats were not just expressed, but carried out through beatings, the latter must be recorded. Fixation is carried out in the emergency room or by calling an ambulance crew. In both cases, after completing the procedure for recording the beatings, the doctor who examined the victim must report the fact of the detected beatings to a police officer (precinct at the victim’s place of residence) or to the territorial department of internal affairs.
- The conclusion about the assault is given to the victim so that she can attach it to the corresponding statement to the police. Such a statement is drawn up either during a visit by a local police officer, who is obliged to respond to a message from a medical organization, or during a direct visit of the victim to the territorial police department.
- If the threats were made over the phone and there was no actual violence against the victim, then the statement is also drawn up in the name of the district police officer or written to the duty station. The evidence in this case will be telephone conversations (if a corresponding recording was made), printouts of messages sent from the ex-spouse’s phone to the victim (when printing, this must be done in such a way that it is clear when and at what time such a message was sent sent, and also from what number).
- If the threats were made over the phone or in person, and there were witnesses present, then it is necessary to indicate their contact information, as they may later give relevant testimony. Witness testimony in this case acts as one of the main types of evidence, as it allows one to determine with what frequency and for how long the threats were made and how often they were implemented.
After the evidence base for the application has been fully formed, it is accepted for proceedings by the investigator or the magistrate.
Find emotional support
Being stalked can undermine your emotional well-being and make you feel less safe. It is normal that in situations like this, people may feel very scared, anxious, helpless, and then feel guilty and ashamed of their helplessness.
Remember that you are not to blame for anything, regardless of the details of your particular history of relationship with the stalker.
Avoid contact
This is the basic rule of what to do if a man or woman is stalking you:
- Experts say it's best not to negotiate or communicate with your stalker. He or she may view any form of contact as a reward.
- Recommends writing one clear message stating that you do not want their attention or forbid them to contact you.
- It's best not to talk or argue with them, and to refrain from responding to insults or emails.
However, there is no general rule about whether to respond to a stalker.
Will insult be an aggravating factor?
There are practically no quiet threats. They are almost always accompanied by obscene language and other insults directed at the victim. Will these insults aggravate the fate of the defendant?
The list of aggravating circumstances is given in Art. 63 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation. The list is exhaustive and insults are not included. Since December 2011, insult has ceased to be a criminal offense . Now it has become an administrative offense (Article 5.61 of the Code of Administrative Offenses of the Russian Federation). However, without affecting the severity of the criminal punishment, insults:
- will allow law enforcement agencies to additionally impose a fine on the perpetrator under the above article in the amount of up to 3,000 rubles;
- can be considered as moral damage - and compensated within the framework of a civil process.
A civil claim can be brought both within the framework of criminal proceedings (Article 44 of the Code of Criminal Procedure of the Russian Federation) and separately (Part 3 of Article 31 of the Code of Civil Procedure of the Russian Federation). In this case, it will be considered according to the rules of the Code of Civil Procedure of the Russian Federation. If a verdict was passed, then the state duty is not paid (clause 4, clause 1, Article 333.36 of the Tax Code of the Russian Federation), but if the case was dismissed, but the fact of moral damage was proven, then the duty is paid in the amount established by Art. 333.19 Tax Code of the Russian Federation.
But if the defendant has already managed to move from threats to action, then he will additionally be punished under the relevant article (for example, under Articles 30 and 111 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation - if he has already tried to cause grievous harm to health and was unable only because he did not happened).
Internet harassment
If a man is stalking a woman or a girl is stalking a guy, then it is strictly recommended to tighten the security settings for all social networks and means of communication as much as possible.
Block your ex on all social media.
It is also important to take a screenshot of the page that proves that you are trying to stop him from following you.
If you are stalking your ex-husband, wife, boyfriend or girlfriend, update your privacy settings on all your accounts on all social networks where you are registered.
To protect yourself from digital harassment, you need to make sure you monitor all online accounts.
Allow access to “friends only” and get rid of any social media accounts that are not needed. This will help you deal with your ex who is stalking you.
Turn off location detection on all your social media accounts and phone apps. Your location does not have to be recorded on the Internet, especially since knowing this information will help your ex-partner find and start stalking you again.
What else can you do:
- Change or delete all of your personal information on social media, including your profile photo.
- Remove all types of information such as place of work, relationship status, vacation spots, etc.
- Block or do not accept any new friends on social networks.
Your ex-husband or stalker boyfriend may create multiple accounts to get in touch with you, so be very careful about who you allow as a friend.
